


begin again

by starrydrxrry



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Anxiety, Cute, First Dates, Fluff, M/M, first date vibes, mwah hope u enjoy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-02
Updated: 2021-02-02
Packaged: 2021-03-13 01:20:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,896
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29145096
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/starrydrxrry/pseuds/starrydrxrry
Summary: this story was inspired by the song Begin Again by Taylor Swift :) this is just a super cute and fluffy first date story and yeah!!
Relationships: Regulus Black/James Potter
Comments: 2
Kudos: 47





	begin again

**Author's Note:**

> hiii this is just a super fluffy first date story bc i’m lonely and this was fun to write :) i think reg deserves some happiness right?? anyway hope u enjoy loves, leave a comment if u did!! go drink some water and stay safe <3
> 
> also sorry if there are any missing italics bc my keyboard is being weird

I’d meant to say no, I really had. When James had run up to me after potions, blushing and breathless, I might’ve been intrigued, sure, but when he’d asked me if I wanted to go to Hogsmeade with him? Yeah, I’d definitely meant to say no. No way, no how, no chance. But, he’d looked so... nervous. And, ok fine, he was kinda adorable. I mean, come on, this was James Potter! I’d practically been in love since the first time I’d laid eyes on him. Still, I meant to say no. But somehow, in all my awkward rambling, the words “Yes,” and “I’d love to!” had slipped out. So here I was, two weeks later. Walking to the tea shop. For my date with James Potter.

I took one last deep breath and grabbed the door handle, looking at my reflection in the shiny glass. I’d slicked my hair back but a few tendrils had already fallen out of place. I looked a bit of a mess, to be honest. My eyeliner was already smudged too, I shouldn’t have worn any. Mom always laughed when I wore it, she said makeup was for girls. She was probably right. I tried to rub it off, but it just got more smudged. Everything was going wrong already. God, why was I making such a big deal out of this? It was just a date, lots of people went on dates, right? Right.

I finally pulled the door open, looking much more confident than I felt. Avoiding eye contact with anyone else, I slunk towards the back of the tea shop before a gentle tap on the shoulder caught me off guard. I flinched a bit at the unexpected touch and turned around.

Oh, fuck. James was attractive enough to make me swoon on a normal day, but I’d never seen him like this. He’d obviously tried to fix his hair, it hadn’t done much, but it was the thought that counted. He was wearing a maroon jacket with a mustard yellow collar (stupid Gryffindor) and he somehow managed to make even his dark jeans and band t-shirt look perfect. It wasn’t even his outfit that filled my stomach with butterflies though, or his hair, or even his lopsided grin. It was because he’d tried. Tried to make himself look good. For me?

“Sorry, didn’t mean to scare you,” James said, blushing.

“No, no,” I assured him, “It’s totally fine, don’t worry. I just... wasn’t expecting you to be here, that’s all.”

He gave me an odd look, but smiled nonetheless. He probably thought I was insane, why would I assume he’d be late? How could I explain to him that the idea of someone caring about a date, about me, was sort of a new idea?

He pulled out a chair for me at a table close to the window, where we had a nice view of the snowy scene outside. I never would’ve picked this spot, everyone outside would be able to see me, but it was kind of nice. I sat down and looked out the window at the happy friend groups and bundled up villagers. I couldn’t look at James. Once I started looking at him, I wouldn’t be able to tear my eyes away, which would just be a whole new mess. He probably thought I was dumb enough already, sitting here goggling at him and drooling for our entire date definitely wouldn’t help anything. James sat down across from me and looked out the window too.

“I like your...” he started, gesturing to the area around my eyes.

“Eyeliner?” I asked helpfully, still looking determinedly away.

“Yeah! I’ve always wanted to try it, but I suck at stuff like that.”

He sounded genuine. I blushed. Did he actually like my eyeliner? It was all smudged, and it hadn’t been especially impressive in the first place.

“I can do it for you sometime, if you want,” I offered, before I knew what I was saying. I imagined myself carefully drawing eyeliner on James one day. He’d look in the mirror and give me that smile that I’d never seen him give other people. He would look good with eyeliner.

“I’d like that.” I could hear the soft smile in his voice, and without thinking, I glanced at him. Eye contact usually made me uncomfortable, but the warmth and honesty on his face were actually quite gentle. I gave him a quick smile before flicking my eyes back out the window.

He asked me about school and we chatted about classes for a bit, trading stories of exploding cauldrons and messy notes until the waitress came to take our order.

“I’ve been wanting to ask you out for a while,” James said casually after she left, as if he didn’t know that the words would make my heart race and my knee bounce a little faster.

“Really? Then why didn’t you?” I asked, careful to keep my rising excitement out of my voice.

“I was shy, I guess. I didn’t want things to be awkward if you didn’t feel the same way.” I giggled at the irony. Me? Not feel the same way? In some other universe, maybe.

“Of course I felt the same way, idiot. I’ve liked you since...” I trailed off. No, I shouldn’t admit that I’d liked James since first year, should I? That was one of my most embarrassing secrets, definitely not something to reveal on a first date. I hadn’t even liked him that much for the first few years, it had been just a little crush. It wasn’t until the Yule Ball two years ago that I’d fallen hard for the dark haired boy. He’d asked me to dance, on a dare from my brother, of course, but after we’d worked through the awkward tension and small talk, it had been one of the highlights of my year. He had a way of making everyone comfortable, and I felt safe with him in a way I felt with no other.

James nudged me with his foot under the table, prompting me to finish my thought.

“First year,” I blurted out before I had time to stop myself. He paused for a second, and I almost thought he was mad, or disgusted, but he threw his head back and burst out laughing. I followed him into an easy giggle.

“You’ve liked me for six years?” he wheezed between laughs. I nodded, relieved that he didn’t hadn’t gotten up and left. He laughed for a little longer than was necessary, but his laugh was like a choir of angels to my ears, so I wasn’t going to complain.

“You’re adorable, Reggie.” My face must’ve turned bright red. He’d said it with such certainty, such sincerity. There was an affection in his voice, affection I never thought I’d hear in a sentence that involved my name. I hadn’t even really realized that I’d looked away from the scenery outside, but I was definitely staring at James. My face probably held the same affection as the boy across from me, but for once the thought didn’t scare me.

I’d ordered a chai tea and chocolate croissant, James had only gotten a hot chocolate. Of course, as soon as my croissant arrived, he started begging me for a piece, even though I’d already told him he should get his own when we’d ordered.

“Just a taste?” he pleaded, “I promise I’ll buy my own next time.”

Next time? As in a second date? The thought filled me with a whole new swarm of butterflies and new daydreams. Before I knew what was happening, he’d snuck a piece off my plate and was chewing it with a satisfied hum.

“You’re sneaky,” I told him, my voice laced with fake disappointment, “Distracting me by mentioning our second date and then stealing a piece of my precious croissant. You’d fit right in at Slytherin!”

For a second he stared at me as if I’d just insulted him in the worst way but then he just swallowed and grinned mischievously.

“Take that back!” he demanded.

“Oops, I forgot you were one of those idiots with a superiority complex just because they were sorted into Gryffindor.”

He laughed easily, shaking his head.

“I’m really not,” he said honestly, “I don’t care what house someone is in as long as they have the right ideals. You know?”

The unspoken question hung in the air: _Do you have the right ideals?_ It was a loaded question, and I wasn’t quite sure how to reply. I wasn’t really sure what my values were just yet. I didn’t love all the blood purity nonsense, I knew all too well what that kind of thinking did to a person. I’d been only eight years old when I’d innocently asked my dad why blood purity even mattered, which had earned me a few bruised ribs. No, those Death Eaters made far too big a deal about Mudbloods and all, but on the other hand, some of their points made sense. For example, there were less and less pure bloods these days, less wizards who knew about old magic, about the intricacies of it. One day, magic would be appreciated only for it’s convenience, not the beautiful power it really held. So I hadn’t exactly made up my mind yet.

But when it came down to it, one day I would get the Dark Mark and fight alongside my friends and family. It didn’t exactly matter what my beliefs were. I wasn’t brave like my brother. I didn’t have a choice.

I imagined one day showing James the tattoo that would adorn my forearm. I could already see the betrayal, the disgust, dripping off of him. It would be the same look I’d seen him give Snape daily. The thought made me shiver. One day we would be fighting on opposite sides of the battlefield, there was no way around it.

Maybe I should tell him all this. Self sabotage my otherwise perfect date. This would end eventually, so might as well rip the bandaid off now.

I could feel the air around us thicken as I opened my mouth to tell him that this would never work out, we would never work out, but he grabbed the croissant of my plate and took a bite with a cheeky smile and the harsh words evaporated. He laughed at my pouty expression and I melted into an easy giggle. James had a way of calming down every situation.

“Ready to go?” he asked, standing up and handing my croissant back. I nodded and got up while he counted out the galleons to leave on the table.

We walked outside in a comfortable silence. I thought to myself that to anyone watching from inside a shop, _we_ would be the obnoxiously happy couple. After a few minutes, he took my hand and squeezed it quickly. It surprised me a bit, but it wasn’t unpleasant, really.

“Is this ok?” he asked. I nodded eagerly.

“Can you uh, ask next time though? Like to warn me? It’s not you, it’s just, I don’t know, I don’t like unexpected touches. My parents, well, you know, and—”

“Of course I can, Reg,” he said firmly, squeezing my hand again.

We walked to a snowdrift near the Shrieking Shack, chatting lightly. The Shack had always scared me, but James assured me it was completely safe and he promised he would protect me if it came to that, so I sat down in the snow bank beside him and listened to his exciting rants and obviously exaggerated stories. He told me about all of the best pranks he had pulled, and somehow even though Siri had already told me most of them, James made them twice as interesting.

“And then, I dropped my wand, because Snape was chasing us, and Remus fell through a broken stair!! McGonagall came, but luckily I was already inside the common room with Peter. And...”

After he’d run through pretty much every prank he could remember, he insisted on teaching me how to make the perfect snowball, which ended up with both of us lying on the ground, covered in snow, and giggling at each other’s dishevelled appearances.

“This is my first date,” I told him suddenly. It was. This was probably an embarrassing fact, not something I should admit, but I knew he wouldn’t mind. James smiled lightly and nodded.

“Siri told me,” he said knowingly. He’d talked to my brother about this? God, that was a weird thought. I couldn’t really imagine them just hanging out and casually talking about me. Oh no, what kind of humiliating stories had Sirius told James about me? Had Siri been ok with our date, or had he found it gross? Would James tell my brother all the details of our date afterwards?

“Oh,” I said quietly.

“Kinda adorable. You saved your first date for your lifelong crush, huh?” he teased.

“Not lifelong,” I objected, rolling my eyes. He threw some snow at me and I giggled again.

“No, really though, why haven’t you gone on any dates before?” he asked seriously, sitting up. He seemed to be genuinely wondering, not just teasing me for being unpopular or whatever. I sat up too and hesitated for a second. How honest are you supposed to be on a first date?

“Well, it’s like. It’s hard to explain. I mean, my first experience of ‘love’ was my parents, you know? And I kinda decided that if that’s love, I didn’t want any of it. All they did was scream at each other, and me and Siri. Love ends up hurting people, that’s what I’m trying to say. All it does is break, and burn, and end. So what’s even the point?”

James considered this for a second. I expected him to brush off what I’d said, or crack a joke to lighten the mood, but he seemed to really be thinking about it.

“Love _can_ hurt,” he agreed slowly, “It sure as hell hurt every single time Lily rejected me. But it can also heal. Like when I asked you out, and you said yes, I was all excited, right? And sitting here with you, right now? It’s a pretty fucking good feeling. So if you close yourself off to the hurt, you’ll never get to experience the beauty of love. Regulus, you’re one of the most beautiful people I’ve ever met, and you deserve to feel the beauty of love healing you.”

Hot tears rose in my eyes and rolled gently down my cheeks at his genuine words. I could tell he really believed it all, even the last part. He reached towards me and rubbed the tears away with his thumb, cupping my face in his hands and moving a little closer.

“Can I kiss you?” he breathed. I nodded softly. Before I even had a chance to worry about if I’d be any good at kissing, or if I would like it, his lips were on mine.

Even in the cold winter air, his lips were warm, a little chapped, but warm. My arms naturally wrapped behind his head and fell into place with my fingers tangled in his hair. His lips tasted like my chocolate croissant with a hint of mint. He didn’t try to do anything with his tongue, which was good, I wouldn’t have liked that, but his lips moved gently with mine. After a few seconds he pulled away, and I was scared I had done something wrong, but he just grinned and went back to kissing me. We kept kissing until I pulled away and smiled up at him.

“Thanks,” I said awkwardly, because what the hell was I supposed to say after our first kiss? He threw his head back and laughed again. I never wanted that laugh to leave my ears.

We held hands all the way through Hogsmeade. Sirius passed us near the Hogs Head, his eyes widened for a second before he smiled and stuck his tongue out. James and I laughed and continued our lighthearted argument about who the best teacher at Hogwarts was.

All of the sudden, we were back at the entrance to the Hogwarts grounds. I pulled James off the path a bit, not wanting to say goodbye.

“Today was fun,” I told him quietly.

He hummed in agreement.

“Would you maybe want to hang out again sometime?” he asked cautiously. I nodded enthusiastically and he grinned his perfect grin at me. He took a step closer and waited for me to nod my permission before wrapping his arms around me and kissing me on the forehead.

His embrace made me feel safe.

“This won’t be easy,” I whispered.

“What won’t be easy?”

“This. Us.”

“Oh. That’s ok. Nothing’s easy,” he said simply, “You’re worth it though.”

His sweet words, combined with the unfiltered affection in his tone, brought a warm glowing sensation to my chest and made me blush for the fiftieth time.

I smiled into his chest and leaned up to kiss him one least time before he let me go and jogged into Hogwarts.

I’d been spending my whole life thinking all love ever did was break, and burn, and end.

But on a Wednesday, in a cafe, I’d watched it begin again.

**Author's Note:**

> ahhh i hope u liked it mwah leave a comment if u did!! stay safeee and ily <33


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